To BC or Not: The Fight Within??

Since coming out and deciding to transition and then deciding not to, lol, I have received emails and comments from others confessing that they are torn between what to do? This post is dedicated to them, and those of you who are secretly fighting this battle as well. I'm no expert but my first suggestion is to ask yourself:
Why do I want to transition??
Is it because everyone else is doing it?
It's trendy (right now)
I'm curious to see what my natural curls look like?
Relaxers aren't healthy!
Want to feel free!
Then look at the reasons why you don't want to? Decide out of the reasons to do it, vs why not do it....which is most important to you.

For me personally, I think the answer to why did I want to was simply bc it was trendy, everyone else was doing it, and I liked the natural hair styles...I found the reason in how much it took to straighten my hair....looking at those two factors I chose the HEALTH of my hair over styles or trends. You may wonder how I equate relaxing to health huh? Well simply put, I don't like curly hair...not 3AB or C not 4AB or C...that is not to say that it is not beautiful because it is, BUT I just don't like to have that look alll of the time or even most of the time. If I were to go natural, thruth be told my hair would be in it's natural state more often than not simply because I am lazy when it comes to styling lol. Knowing that fact about myself, straight hair...FOR ME...is more versatile, I can wear it straight whenever I want to, if I want kinks or curls I can manipulate it into those styles as well. But if I were to go natural my hair would either be straightened consistently which is unhealthy to my strands and would increase breakage, or I'd stay in weaves, which I didn't want to do, or walk around with boring curly hair, which would more than likely result in me returning to relaxers.

I think the thing is you have to be honest with yourself, sure I see all of these gorgeous natural hair care models or women in hair groups and YT, but how much time and effort do they put into their hair, and how much time am I willing to put into mine? I have a husband, 3 children, a dog, I work and go to school both full time...truth is, I don't want to put jack diddly into my hair lol.
I don't think being relaxer free makes women feel "free from bondage" unless they felt bonded, are you only relaxing your hair to be beautiful or feel accepted? Does getting relaxers cause you anxiety or stress? Have you always wanted to be natural but was just self conscience? If so then yes I could imagine how elated you'd be, and I congradulate you. I myself, I have never put much thought into hair. I have stretched for 6 months, know my pattern pretty much, and I do feel like I'd be GAWJUSS with my natural hair, but no more beautiful than I am with relaxed hair....my facial features are just that, features, my beauty lies in my personality and my heart, that hasn't been and never will be changed. When making any decision regarding yourself, you have to look to you Look at yourself, block the rest of the world out and follow what you really desire.

Being natural vs being relaxed really just boils down to this:
How do you want to wear you hair? Curly, textured or straight?
and
Do you want chemicals in your hair?

People can and will act like relaxers are death, but permanent hair dyes are chemicals as well!! Are naturals who use permanent color, any less natural? Naturals who "heat train" their hair, they are free from an chemicals? Are they any less "proud" or "free"?

You get out of your hair...and life in general what you put into it...after doing research and reading you willl find a plethora of hair care blogs specifally for relaxed hair and you will see that YES RELAXED HAIR DOES GROW PAST SHOULDER LENGTH!! and BEING NATURAL DOES NOT MAKE YOUR HAIR GROW FASTER (just had to throw that out there) lol.

So aside from all of those hair myths, what is it that you would like out of your hair??
Relaxed or natural you can obtain it!!!

Just Relax!!!!

Well, I decided to relax my edges, which turned into relaxing about 10% of the front. I was out wig shopping, bought a really cute one (half wig) only to later realize that my leave out hair would look hella ratchet lol, so it was completely unplanned. I parted off the top section Oiled scalp Put Shower cap over the back of my hair Began to apply relaxer (Motions) Went back and rubbed it through Let it sit for about 20 minutes (no burning) Rinsed Off hair Washed Hair 3x with a Neutralizing Shampoo. Rinsed off and applied Aphogee 2 min Recon. for 2 min Rinsed off & applied Aussie Moist 3 minute Miracle, for 15 minutes Rinsed off. I had to work sooo... Applied Mizani D'Tangle (Leave In) Applied Mizani Thermasmooth Blow Dried Applied mor Thermasmooth Flat ironed

Update Hair Styles!!!!

This is a braid out that I accomplished by braiding in small braids, about 20 braids, I braided each section using a bit of Twisted Sistah Curl defining cream. Then rolling with perm rods

.

This is a simple "doughnut bun" but this was my first time trying it on my hair :-)

This is just a before and now pic of how full my bun was last year (beginning of my HHJ) and now.

And here is a smiple bun/ponytail with a Snookie hump!! LOL

& Here is a close up of my new growth, before and after flat ironing!!! Using the One and Only Argan Heat Flatiron!!! As you can see I have been enjoying my hair!!!! I guess I can give her a break now :-)

World's Shortest Transition!!!

By just reading the title, have you came to the conclusion that I BC'd already??? If so, you are.............(dun dun dun dun)...........................WRONG!!!!! LOL All of that talking I did, all of those reasons I gave, and I have already changed my mind!! Why, you may ask? 1. The only thing that was making the transition ok, was remembering that I could still wear my hair straight....and if all else fails I could always go back to relaxers. 2.I have not even gotten a chance to reap the benefits of my relaxed hair journey... I thought of it as if, basically I am bald right now and have to wait 2 or 3 years for a decent length....I am not ready to start all the way over. 3. I realized that natural hair for me, was a trend, not a lifestyle....and this is one trend, I want to let pass me up lol. Not to say that I don't like our natural hair, I think it is beautiful! In fact one reason that I wanted to go natural is because whenever I am in the presence of a natural sistah, I just feel a bond/ connection with her. Every other ethnicity seems to have the straight or wavy fine hair, but our kinky coils and curls belong exclusively to us. I take pride in that. 4. But the straw that broke the camels back is......I tried flatironing my hair....and the battle of me vs new growth was not it, I am actually looking forward to my next relaxer like ASAP!!!! Not only that, after I flat ironed it, I remembered and appreciated how beautiful my relaxed hair is too. So thank you all who supported my very brief decision to go natural...but #TeamRelaxedHair shall remain!!!

BIG NEWS & Updates :-)

Hey ladies!!! I know it has been awhile and since then so much has happended, length check, breakage, and big news (nervous)... Let's start at the length check :-)
OFFICIALLY SL BAYBEHHH!!!
In the black is when I started my HHJ July 2011...and in the green halter is my last length check March 2012...I am proud of my success I must say. I was 13 weeks post on this pic and simply flat ironed, using all Mizani products...I used too much of the Thermasmooth Serum...and my hair felt oober greasy, so I never wore it down :-(

Now to the breakage...IDK if it came from the friction of the lace wigs I'd been wearing or if it was from being dry IDK, but here is a pic:

I am back to full cap wigs and full protective style/ no manipulation styles.

Now on to the BIG NEWS!!!!

Apart of why I have been gone so long is because, I did not know how to break the news, I did not know what you, my subscribers, would think...or even if I wanted to tell ya :-( But....

I AM NOW TRANSITIONING!!!!

This has been something that I've wanted to do, but I did not want to do it in the midst of everyone else doing it, because I did not want to appear to be "jumping on the natural bandwagon". After my last length check seeing how my new growth looked after being flat ironed, I thought...well I could just get my hair straightened in July for my 1 year HHJ'niversary instead of relaxing...then I thought...I could just do that for my Dec End of the Year Length Check as well...because those were the only 2 days that I planned on showing my hair this year....so then I realized...Relaxers really aren't necessary...if I want straight hair, I can use heat, there really is no need to use chemicals, why does my hair need to me PERMenantly straightened?? Now I am not bashing relaxers IN NO WAY!!! These are just all of the thoughts that went through my head, but during the first sign of "ughh I can't take this" or if my hair care becomes too STRESSFUL, uhm I will be back to relaxing, there is no need for something as simple as hair to be stressful.

Also because I was relaxed so young, I really do not know what my natural hair texture looks like and I am really curious to see it; and I would hate to grow my relaxed hair all the way to MBL or WL and then choose to transition, only to find out that it's too much and have to start allll the way over, so I thought now is the best time, when I am educated on hair, can take care of it, & I'm not so far along in length.

I plan on taking it one day at a time. I am now 15 weeks post. My short term goal is to make this year stretch (12/28)and after then I will know a bit more as to whether I will relax or keep on transitioning. My ultimate goal is to transition for at least 2 years, and never BC....but to gradually clip ends as needed...or clip my ends to the equal length of new growth so I can maintain at this length.

Now like I said this is no "new me" type of situation, but it will be a new experience for me, I want to step in a new comfort zone....self confidence, self comfort...I'm not saying as relaxed hair ladies that we don't have confidence, but for me personally I want to step beyond the comfort that I know and have known,I just want to take a chance and experience something new...If I turn out to love it..GREAT...and if not...well that's okay too, at least I did what I wanted to do, step out, challenge myself, and take a chance :-)



^^^^^Hope this doesn't end up being my story LOL!!!


Hope you all follow me through this transition :-)